Montana Holiday Gift Sending Survival Guide. What you can’t send.

'Twas the week before Christmas, and I, armed with the confidence of a procrastinator, embarked on the epic journey to mail my gifts to family members. Little did I know, my grand plan would soon be derailed faster than Santa's sleigh after a coffee binge.

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I arrived at the post office with a list longer than my arm can reach.   The line, stretching the entire length of the post office, mocked my late arrival (I should have been here first thing in the morning). As I waited, visions of sugarplums were replaced by anxiety about whether my gifts would reach their destinations before New Year's Eve.

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Unprepared and panicking, I fumbled through bags, pockets, and the abyss of my purse, searching for addresses, tape, and a pen that wasn't attempting a Christmas disappearing act. Fellow procrastinators exchanged sympathetic glances, forming an unspoken support group united by the shared struggle against the clock.

Finally, at the counter, I presented my hastily wrapped parcels to the postal worker.  But then came the revelation—the nightmare of realizing I was attempting to mail something distinctly illegal, a gift that made even coal look like a thoughtful gesture.

Keep reading for 8 Things You Can't Mail ⇓

Cue the awkward laughter and flushed cheeks as I hastily retrieved my contraband from the counter. The postal worker, seemingly unamused, raised an eyebrow as if questioning my eligibility for the Nice List.

In the end, my Christmas mailing adventure was more sitcom than Hallmark movie. Lessons were learned, lines were endured, and, with a promise to read mailing regulations next year, I left the post office, vowing to start my holiday preparations before the last snowflake falls.  Just like I do every year.

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